The Year That Will Be...2012

In all likelihood, if you're reading this post, you read my recent post summarizing my 2011. In re-reading it, I noticed that the blog might've come across slightly more negatively than I intended. While 2011 was by no means a rousing success, it certainly had its bright spots. Some I'm happy to talk about, some I'd rather not talk about, and a few I can't really remember. But enough that I should probably look back on the year a little more fondly than I do. And maybe, from a farther vantage point (aka in the future), I will.

But for today, we'll look into the near future, and make plans for 2012. Not concrete plans (though I did cash in on my concrete plans to visit Disney World last week), but a variety of..."intentions." I won't call them resolutions, because I feel like resolutions are either too vague (eat better, exercise more, be less of a racist asshole) or too easily dismissed as impossible after six weeks (see the previous list). I like the word "intentions," because it captures my sentiments. I intend to do these things.

What things, you ask? I'm not telling.

Not now, at least. I have written them down, and I even created a little worksheet for myself to track some of them. But some of them are too personal, and some are irrelevant to most of you. Most of all, though, I've found that I rely far too heavily on other people for my happiness. Involving other people right from the get-go just sets me up for disappointment, when I don't get two dozen emails and comments regarding my list.

But, because I like living in the limelight, I'll give you a little glimpse into my list of intentions. If you're looking for "train a team of guinea pigs to row a tiny boat" though, you may be disappointed.

- I am hoping to get myself back on the fitness train. I had a real nice first half of the year in 2011, but I undid way too much of that good work over the second half. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to try to find a way to get myself back on that horse.
- Similarly, the first half of last year I spent a lot of time working on creating a board game. I even had a test playthrough of the rough draft. The playthrough was informative, though it ended up with me deciding that the concept had to be split into two different games. My goal this year is to finish one of those games.
- I also want to be more social this year. I have a couple different concepts on how to make that happen which I won't go into, but the general idea is to get out more and do more.

Whether or not I'll be successful at these and my other, private or uninteresting goals remains to be seen, but no matter what, I hope to have an enjoyable and productive 2012, and I wish the same for all of you.

Also I hope the world doesn't end.

Pizza

Listen. I like pizza. If you've spent any time with me at mealtime over the past few years, you know that I have a slight tendency to default to pizza. It's a decent enough meal with plenty of potential variety, it's pretty clean most of the time, and most people like it.

The problem is, pizza isn't very diet-friendly. Well, that's not fair to pizza. Pizza, like almost any food, can be diet-friendly when enjoyed in moderation. But most of the time that you eat pizza, you get a whole pie, and eat several slices, and boom, 1400 calories. Since I'm on a diet, that's a "bad" idea.

Enter Boboli. I bought a couple crusts the other day, and the calorie numbers look manageable. I made a "white" pizza the other day, the whole pizza was 1080 calories. It had shredded Parmesan cheese, butter, garlic salt, oregano, sliced onions, and sliced red pepper. I know I can actually save a few calories by switching to a lower calorie version of cheese, maybe get the whole thing down to a thousand. And this is for the bigger crust, I think 10 or 12 inches. They've also got personal size ones, which obviously make for an even more calorie-friendly meal.

So I'm reaching out to you folks. Let's figure out some pizzas I can make. Give them names, if you like. But we're looking to make them fairly healthy, so I can keep on my weight-loss train. Lean meats are good, we can work with most cheeses, and I'm open to vegetables and fruits...except mushrooms and olives. Those are a no go fo sho.

Here, I'll start it off (please note that I have not tried these pizzas; they're just ideas. And yours can be as well):

The Jerry's Cheesesteak Pizza

• Roast beef or sliced steak
  
• Provolone cheese
• Onions
• Green peppers

The Hard Times Onion Rings Pizza

• Onions
• Light ranch dressing
• Taco seasoning
• Mozzarella cheese
  

Interactivity / Twitter?

Let me be the first to say that I have trouble getting what the big draw is for Twitter. It's like if you took Facebook and stripped away everything interesting and just had the status updates. No pictures, no videos, not even any long statuses that actually give you information. Just quick-hitters, like "Going to the mall to get my nails done" or "Let's go Cavs! Two of the top four picks!"

Are these invalid ideas? No, of course not. But it's like an entire website devoted to smalltalk. Are we so starved for human interaction that we'll settle for an occasional impersonal text from celebrities, or cousins, or strangers?

Well, yes, probably. As some of you may know, I run a little sports blog called Joe and Joe Sports, and I've set up a Twitter account for it. I don't post regularly (on either), so the synergy between the two is negligible, but with the recent explosion of smart phones, I know that social media is becoming a quick way to "check up" on people, both friends and strangers. And if you want to grow your web presence, it's definitely useful to employ multiple vehicles.

Anyways, where was I going with this? Right, interactivity. I'd like to have a little more of it on here. Now, it'd be easier for you all to chime in if I posted more often, I'll grant you that. So here's the deal. I'm going to post more often (promise), and you're going to respond more often.

Not gonna wait for you to agree. That's how we do it in sales; we presume agreement and move right on to the details.

I've got a few ideas for how to generate some back and forth. Look for the first one later today.

LOOK FOR IT.

A Fitness Challenge

For those of you interested, I've started a fitness challenge with my cousin. It's basically a head-to-head competition between us, a Biggest Loser grudge match. If you want more details, or want to follow the action, you can go to the link below:

http://psychotronvsgargantuar.blogspot.com/

I'm Psychotron, obviously.

LOST Series Finale And Beyond - Part 1

So it probably won't make much sense to you, but the Lost series finale has made me come back to my 20 for 30 list and see what I can do to revitalize my efforts.

But not revitalize my efforts towards these twenty goals, at least, not all of them. And my efforts will go towards some other goals, not outlined in my original post. And maybe that's the lesson from my whole experience here. The things that matter when you're 26 may not matter when you're 29. The things that seem important in January may seem trivial in June. Tonight is not the same as tomorrow, is not the same as two weeks from now, etc.

I'm killing the 20 for 30 list. Right now.

I'm going back to the "Real Life Achievements" concept of personal growth. It allows me to cite minimal things I do that matter to me, as well as make note of the big changes/experiences in my life.

Over the course of the week, I'll talk more about the Lost series finale, my thoughts on how the whole show came together, the concept behind the finale (specifically the "alternate reality" portion), and maybe, if I'm feeling particularly forthcoming, I'll let you in on why the series finale made me check my priorities. Stay tuned, I guess.

Twenty for Thirty Update - 4/20

So it's been another two months since my last update, and unfortunately, I haven't completed any additional goals. I've made minimal progress on a couple, but it's not about "moving towards goals;" it's about accomplishing them.

In thinking about some of these goals, though, I realize now that they weren't really my goals. They were goals that seemed considerable and reasonable, but weren't really things that I was going to set out to do, because they're not that important to me. They are:

1) Buy a car.
11) Bench press 200 pounds.
12) Go an entire week without drinking any caffeinated beverage.
20) Have a 60+ second conversation with a celebrity.

I'm debating whether or not I want to replace those four, or just roll with them and see how it goes. I'd be pretty surprised if I were to accomplish any of them, given that they're not actual personal goals. I don't really want to change them, though, since the year is already four months old, and it might marginalize the whole list. I'm thinking what I'll do, actually, is create a new list of twenty every year, removing goals accomplished and those that don't really qualify, and keeping goals that I hold dear but have not yet accomplished. Yes, that's what I'll do.

But for now, I'm going to get to work writing a song.

Twenty for Thirty Update - 2/16

So it's been a month and a half, and I've converted two of the easier goals from my list:

2) Move out of my mom's house.

This was in the works before the list was even released, but it was still one of the things I wanted to do this year. Living at home has its perks, but getting out of my mom's house has far more perks. I'm hoping that, by getting out of the house and living much closer to my work, I can use this as a jumping off point for trying to lose weight (through complete diet control) and having a successful party.

18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show.

As I had mentioned, this has been in the works for a while, so it was nice to finally get it done. You can listen here; the show is just under an hour, and I think it's one of our best shows yet at Joe and Joe Sports. In fact, one of the contestants, my cousin Michael, had such a fun time doing the show that he has taken it upon himself to arrange the next baseball trivia show. Success!

Twenty for Thirty - The List

Alright, you may remember that a while ago, I talked about my plans for the 30th year of my life, and how I wanted to set some goddamn goals. Well, mission accomplished. On setting the goals, that is. I still have a long way to go before actually completing them.

I've grouped them based on some arbitrary headings, to help you (and more so myself) keep them organized.

Finances

1) Buy a car. (New, old, whatever, just purchase a vehicle to replace my current one)
2) Move out of my mom's house. (I'm actually fairly close to getting this one accomplished)
3) Make $500 doing something besides my job. (Switching jobs doesn't count)

Social Activities

4) Do something very embarrassing for other people's enjoyment, and laugh it off.
5) Host a party with 25+ people, 10+ girls. (This will probably be helped by the moving out)
6) Participate as a member of an organized sports team. (Coaching is acceptable)
7) Make a new friend.
8) Reconnect with an old friend.
9) Have a romantic kiss on New Year's Eve. (I've never done this; sad, right?)

Fitness

10) Weigh 250 pounds. (For those of you unfamiliar with me, that would constitute losing a lot of weight)
11) Bench press 200 pounds. (I don't know how much I can bench press now, but 200 seems enough to be a goal)
12) Go an entire week without drinking any caffeinated beverage. (We'll say Monday AM to Monday AM)

Creation

13) Design a board game or card game.
14) Complete a first draft of an entire book. (Because I've got the first chapter of nine different books written)
15) Make a movie. (I'm leaving this open to include a big movie, a series of episodes or webisodes, or something else I haven't thought of yet)
16) Write and record a song.
17) Record a CD with 10+ tracks. (Original content not required, but I could knock out two of the twenty if I were to write a song for it)
18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show. (I've been trying to do this for years; it shouldn't be as hard as it's been to get it together)

Celebrity

19) Get mentioned in local news. (The medium is irrelevant; TV, newspaper, Internet, they're all fine)
20) Have a 60+ second conversation with a celebrity. (I'm not sure where I'll draw the line on celebrity, but I figure I'll know it if it happens)

Well, that's the list. If/when I accomplish any of the goals, don't worry, you'll hear about it.

Twenty for Thirty

Yes, 20 for 30 would be a pretty solid completion percentage for a quarterback, or an unbelievable tear for a hitter, but I'm talking about neither of those.

Here's the idea. Next year is 2010, and I was born in 1980. So next year is the 30th year of my existence, and the year of my 30th birthday. With all of my recent talk about achievements, I got to thinking that maybe I should put together a list of things I'd like to do before I turn 30. I scaled it back a few months, and decided I'll put together a list of things I want to accomplish by the end of my 30th year, the year 2010.

I've got a preliminary list of not quite twenty goals, but I'd be happy to hear any ideas, discuss any topics, or dismiss any suggestions you might have. Drop me a line or post a comment if you've got something worth saying...or even if not, really. I'm the only one who reads this blog anyways.

:)

Let's Stop Driving: Mother Nature

Mother Nature is a bitch.

We're like a bunch of petulant children who have been getting our way for years while Mom wasn't looking. But eventually, Mom realizes what we've been up to and starts throwing shoes at us. Humans have been advancing technologically at a frantic rate, figuring out all sorts of things, not the least of which is transportation. We drive, we ride, we fly, and we go where we want to go. But what we don't realize is that every time we go somewhere, we're tempting Mother Nature to give us a pump to the forehead.

(By the way, for the purposes of this post, I'm referring to the natural world when I say "Mother Nature. That is to say, "Mother Nature" is the Earth and how it works. Okay go.)

Lights Out

People weren't made for night time. We naturally get tired when lights go out. The basic schedules of our society work around the existence of sunlight. Why? Because people can't see in the dark. We need light for reading, for assembling, for cooking, and yes, for driving. You know how I know we need light for driving? Because we put these giant brightening devices on the fronts of cars.

"So we've got the lights, what's the problem?" you ask, knowing full well that I've already got an answer. The problems are twofold. First, the targeted beams of headlights are a poor substitute for the piercing, all-encompassing glow of sunlight. A night driver's peripheral and rear-view vision is almost nil. The second issue is the human eye. Our pupils grow and shrink based on the amount of light in our environment, to help improve vision in particularly bright or dark situations. But at night, when everything is dark, the beam of another car's headlights feels like staring at the sun, and your vision suffers. Impaired vision + night driving = not good. And that's science.

Through Rain, and Sleet, and Snow...

A 2005 survey reported that the average American commuter spends 26 minutes driving to work each day, and that most of us do that commute five days a week, 50 weeks a year. That's 250 days of traveling 50 minutes to and from work, through all sorts of weather conditions. For those of you not so good with math, that's over 200 hours of driving per year, just on your daily work commute.

We're all familiar with the effect of snow on driving conditions, and sometimes we respect it enough to say that it's not worth taking your life in your hands to drive to work today. But a lot of the time, you go to work anyways. You go despite sleet and snow and icy road conditions. The roads weren't designed for icy conditions, and really, neither were our cars (or we'd have spikes in the tires). But you go anyways, for the $75 or $200 or $500 you make in a day, because it's easier than telling your boss that you're uncomfortable driving in the day's weather conditions. Hey, I know all about it. It's the same reason I prefer ordering pizza online; that way, I don't have to talk to anyone.

What about a foggy morning or a stormy day? You'd never consider taking a day off for those kind of weather conditions, but in a lot of ways, those conditions are just as dangerous as ice, and people don't respect them. You'd never wait an hour to leave for work just because it's foggy outside. But you might be wise to do just that; again, impaired visibility is something that is simply unacceptable when you're dealing with a deadly machine like an automobile.

It's Coming Right For Us!

(Hopefully that reference isn't lost on all of you.)

Outside of weather, Mother Nature provides one more big problem for driving: animals. There are an estimated 20 million+ deer in the United States today, and if you spend any time in a rural or suburban area, you know that they're around. The extermination of many natural predators of deer has contributed to an ever-increasing deer population, and it's no surprise that they're showing up everywhere.

Deer are involved in an estimated 1.5 million vehicle collisions every year, and cause $1.1 billion in damages, along with 150 motorist deaths. Fences, guardrails, and deer whistles have not stifled the impact of deer collisions on humans' daily lives, and it's difficult to foresee a change that will. The reality is that, as long as we have any desire to preserve animals in a somewhat natural environment, and as long as we insist on driving cars on roads, we're going to encounter deer and other animals while driving.

"So we're screwed then, right?" Well, no. As long as we insist on driving cars on roads, yes, we're screwed. That's the whole point of this series of posts, remember? "Let's stop driving," that's the whole idea. I'm just trying to point out all the problems with driving, so we can start to realize that this simply can't be the apex of human transportation. There simply must be something better.

Just Like Music

First things first, I have decided nothing for my birthday. I'll probably have pie of some sort, though fried ice cream is still on the table. Dessert is about all I look forward to these days. PS: There's pie at the house.

Moneyball is the second most important book I've ever read, behind only Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.

Remember ages ago when I said I was going to start posting audio files of myself playing and singing songs on a regular basis? And remember how not only did I not start posting them on a regular basis, but didn't in fact post a single one? Well, I've got a faint hope of finally coming around on that. Faint.

I'm compiling a list of potential songs right now, and putting them into two categories: A) songs I can play/have played, and B) songs I think I could play and might sound good, were it someone else singing and playing. If you've got any suggestions for either list, I'm happy to hear them. I make no promises about how long it'll take to post anything, or even that anything will progress on this front at all.

Wish me luck.

What Is Up?

When I think about why I'm making this blog post, I'm reminded of a memorable quote from my all-time favorite show, The West Wing:

SAM
I think this press conference is about our future.

BARTLET
I think this press conference is about we haven’t had a press conference in a while.

The truth is, there's really nothing too exciting going on, nothing I feel the need to comment on. I just know I haven't written in a while, so here we go.

My pants don't fit anymore. It's in a good way; that is, I've lost enough weight that my pants are too loose, but the actual problem is the same. My pants don't fit anymore. I can get by with them for a little while longer, but the reality is that I'm going to look a little bit silly until I get some new ones.

What does this mean for my recently begun job search? I'm not sure. You're supposed to wear a suit to interviews, and I haven't tried on my suit in a few months. That's second on my to-do list for when I leave work today. Number one on that list is to buy some chewy chocolate chip cookies for my sister. I unknowingly ate the last of her stash (it was in the kitchen, how could I know?), and because I feel her pain on people devouring any food you leave in the kitchen, I'm gonna grab her a box or bag or whatever. Shhh, don't tell her. Everybody likes surprises.

Top 5 Games I've Been Playing Recently

1. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360) - I played Morrowind (the prequel to this game), and was almost immediately frustrated with its lack of direction. Oblivion has only slightly more direction, but it was enough for me, and now I'm hooked. Perhaps the best evidence of its quality is that I'm playing it with almost no interest in stacking achievements. I'm playing the game just to play the game. It's wild.
2. Army of Two (Xbox 360) - I've been playing online with Patrick, both of us looking to pick up some achievements, and it's been a blast. We're both willing to acknowledge when we mess up, and we both mess up a fair amount. But when the cooperation pays off, it's very gratifying.
3. Diablo II (PC) - Kicking it old school, I've always liked the game, and I've talked Chip into giving it a shot. I'm finding out, though, that my desk at home isn't set up very well, ergonomically speaking. Gotta work that out before it hurts my shoulder even more. Anyways, looking forward to giving the game another go-around. Treasure-hunting is my kind of fun.
4. Left 4 Dead (Xbox 360) - I don't play it as much as some people (Patrick and Nick), but it's fun enough. My only qualm, and one that will likely be resolved in the upcoming sequel, is that I suck, and I keep getting matched up against people who are pretty good, so it's embarrassing when I play online. Hopefully Left 4 Dead 2 will have an actual matchmaking system, rather than just throwing people together.
5. Destiny of an Emperor (NES) - Remember when I said I was kicking it old school by playing Diablo II? This is a little bit older school. It's an RPG based in ancient China, and while I prefer the more conventional Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior, it's still a fairly fun game. Plus I'm far enough into it now that I want to take it all the way.

EDIT: In the original version of this post, I had an incorrect statement about Epic. This post has been updated to remove that inaccuracy.

Week 10 Fitness Wrap-Up

Not much new to discuss, but it's time to face the music and allow myself to be accountable. It's better than the secret weigh-in I had last time, but not by much. I'm just so easily seduced by tasty food; it's my Achilles' heel.

Pizza Tycoon

I did rediscover a game I've enjoyed on several occasions, Pizza Tycoon. It's a simulation game that puts you in the role of (surprise surprise) a pizza restaurant entrepreneur. You start out with a little money and a dream, and you open a pizza restaurant to start living that dream. The game isn't terribly intuitive, and I'm still having trouble figuring out how exactly people like their pizza, but I do well enough to bring in customers.

The "Tycoon" might elicit thoughts of Rollercoaster Tycoon, but this game is a much less refined program. Still, it's pretty complex, and while some things are a little mysterious (like how much money I actually have), there's enough that can be figured out to make for a fun time. I've got seven restaurants now, and I just made my first 100 rated pizza last weekend at Mike's place. So, yeah, I'm pretty good.

Week 10 weight: 314.0 lbs

Week 8 Fitness Wrap-Up

So, I didn't really diet this week. I mean, I tried to focus on eating the kinds of foods I'm supposed to eat, but I didn't do a particularly good job. I managed to dodge excessive amounts of alcohol on the weekend, which when you spend two nights hanging out at Eddie P.'s house is not an insubstantial feat. But it's time for me to get back on the horse, start eating right again, and start walking/lifting/Rock Band drumming again, basement situation be damned.

Please note that there will not be a weigh-in for this wrap-up. It's not that I didn't weigh in; it's that I'm utterly embarrassed at the resulting weight, and I'm giving myself a week to clean up my act before we go public with the story.

Plants vs. Zombies

You may recall that I talked about playing the demo for this PC game in my last fitness post. Well, since that time, I did in fact purchase the full game, as did my brother and my cousin Mike. I'd venture to say that we are each happy with our purchase. I've played the game for no less than twenty hours, which puts it in favorable company when compared to several games I've bought recently, such as Crackdown and NFL Head Coach '09 (neither of which I've played at all yet).

The game isn't ground-breaking by any stretch, but it's fun and clean. Everything is pretty intuitive, and it mixes in humor very well. I think I'm almost done with the game, as far as defeating every challenge it offers, but I can definitely see playing around with it for a while longer, just for kicks. There are several defensive plants I have yet to employ, and I'm interested to see what the "Cob Cannon" does.

Illness Strikes

Yes, unfortunately, I've gotten sick. It feels pretty much like a cold, so I've been treating it like a cold: a DayQuil/NyQuil two-pronged attack, with cough drops mixed in. I've missed two days of work so far, and I'm really hoping not to add in a third. It's not that I find my job particularly rewarding or interesting. I just generally like to be in the black with regards to leave hours, and these are two days I hadn't planned on using up.

It's interesting how when people find out that I'm sick, their automatic (joke?) response is, "Is it swine flu?" If you're among the people who said so, don't worry, you're one of many. It's just weird that this illness that's struck 5,500 Americans (roughly .002% of the United States population) has received enough media coverage that many persons' first response, joke or otherwise, is to make some reference to the swine flu.

Anyways, from my understanding, no, it's not swine flu. It's a cold, most likely brought along by lack of sufficient sleep and not eating enough fruits and vegetables. I think I've caught up on sleep (but I need to get into the habit of regularly getting enough sleep), and I'm working on the fruits and vegetables thing. That shit is expensive, though. Grapes are like $3/pound. So I'll be talking to my mom about buying fruits and such when she goes out. I think we've got some bananas and some oranges right now, so that'll do.

And congratulations to Joe Mandi on fixing the Hubble space telescope! (I will congratulate no one else at NASA; my assumption is that they're all worthless...except for Monkey Dude).

Week 6.5 Fitness Wrap-Up (and other stuff)

Alright, truth time. I haven't posted a blog in a while because I've been a little scared to step on the scale. I've been a lot more lax with the diet, and with the basement getting worked on, I haven't had the easy access to lift weights or do any Rock Band drumming. For the most part, I've been completely inactive recently, and I was terrified to see how unforgiving the scale was going to be. You'll catch the exact numerical results at the end of this blog post, but I was completely floored by how much that wasn't the case.

Plants vs. Zombies

My cousin Mike posted this link in his AIM profile, and made the extra effort to tell me to check it out. It's a music video for a video game that came out a few days ago called (as you might have guessed) Plants vs. Zombies. If you've ever played any of the "maul" games online on Warcraft III, it's the same concept. You have an area that you're trying to defend from waves of enemies; in this case, your defenders are plants, and zombies are the attackers. You start out with simple plants, and get more sophisticated and powerful plants as time goes on. Of course, the zombies also get more powerful.

I fully expected the game to be a nice little game that I wasn't going to be willing to pay for, but the demo has got me very seriously considering shelling out the $20 to get the full game. Partly because I'd like to play the rest, but also partly just because I'd like to reward the programmers for creating a fun (and funny) game. I'm trying to figure out if I'd actually play it more than once, and that's really the question that's tempering my action. I've played Warcraft III mauls hundreds of times, but there are several dozen different versions of those. I'll let you know if I do end up buying it, and whether or not I'm happy about the purchase.

The Price of a Gamerscore Bump

I've been playing NBA Street Homecourt and Grand Theft Auto IV (the 360 version is only $36 right now, pretty good price) with the specific intention of acquiring some gamerscore points. I bought Homecourt recently, and found that I was probably going to be able to get at least 800 of the points without having to be particularly skillful (which is good, because I'm finding out that I'm not all that good at video games). I've already beaten GTA IV, but there are a few decisions you have throughout the game that you can do differently to see different consequences, and there's an achievement you receive for completing the story in 30 hours, so I figured it was worth another go-through.

I've completed the "campaign" on Homecourt, and have 800+ points from that game. I also beat GTA IV last night, getting the "Liberty City Minute" achievement for beating it quickly. However, towards the end of the evening, I started to notice my left hand was getting very sore (I know what you're thinking, but I said left hand...so it's not from writing). I realized it was actually from playing so much 360 over the past few days, which is shocking and a little embarrassing. So, going to take a break from the gaming for a little bit, give my hand a chance to recover. Movies, I guess? Speaking of...

Netflix

Netflix has a free two-week trial that I'm in the midst of, and so far, I'm liking it. The service offers movies both via mail on DVD and instant viewing online and (more importantly) the Xbox 360. The subscription plan I have gives unlimited access to the instant viewing movies/TV series, as well as one DVD at a time for $8.99. It's like $5 more a month to bump it up to two DVDs at a time, and there looks to be more than enough content on the instant access list to keep me occupied without running out of movies to watch while I'm in between DVDs. For now, my intent is to keep the service for a few months and see how much I use it.

PS: It would get used a lot more if I had a girlfriend who came over to watch movies all the time. So, heads up ladies, I've got a ton of movies we can watch. Does that make me a little more appealing? I bet it does.

I've heard Chip's opinion on this, but I figure I'll toss it out there to the masses. Do you prefer one big blog post like this, or several split up blog posts over the course of a day or two? I'm probably going to only be writing up posts once or twice a week regardless, but do you prefer that it be collected like this, sort of in a newsletter form, or would you prefer a variety of posts, each about a specific topic? Let me know.

Week 6.5 weight: 311.8

Week 5 Fitness Wrap-Up

So after last weekend's debauchery, I committed to staying strictly on the diet during the week. Additionally, while I planned on doing some drinking and eating some funnel cake, the plan was also to stay pretty good in Atlantic City. Here are the results.

Oh, before I forget, I've integrated a new thing into my diet over the past two weeks or so that has made me feel 100% better. I had been feeling uncomfortable on a gastrointestinal level for a little while. I tried increasing my beans and nuts, but I still felt a little..."irregular." It got to the point that I just wanted to eliminate that feeling, and if I didn't, I was going to abandon the diet. So I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast one day, and the whole day I felt like a million bucks. I've been having a bowl of high fiber cereal (Raisin Bran or Special K) every day since then, and I've been feeling good and still losing weight. I might not be losing weight as quickly as I had been, but there's no doubt in my mind that what I'm doing now is better for me than dealing with that bizarre, half-constipated/half-nauseous feeling.

Okay, back to the week. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I behaved very well. I didn't eat anything that was unacceptable on the diet, and I continued to notice that my pants weren't fitting as snugly as they have been. (By the way, if successful, this diet is probably going to end up costing me like $1,000 in new clothes). I didn't get a ton of exercise, but I had to move some stuff out of the basement (more on this later), so that got me a little active.

The weekend arrived a day early for me, as I found out that my good friend Adam was going to be in Atlantic City Thursday and Friday for a conference, and he had a room at Bally's Thursday night. I left work a little early and hit the road just early enough to avoid most of rush hour...from DC. I hit plenty of the Baltimore rush hour, but it wasn't even remotely as bad. I arrived in AC about 7:30, met up with Adam, and immediately started drinking. We gambled and drank until the wee hours, then woke up and gambled and drank some more.

Adam left town Friday afternoon, and I wandered Atlantic City for a few hours, gambling and drinking (along with a delicious pretzel dog from Auntie Anne's), and finally met up with my cousin and his buddy. As a change of pace, we decided to gamble and drink, then do the same thing the next day. All told, I don't think it'd be outrageous to say I had 80+ drinks between 7:00 PM Thursday and 4:00 AM Sunday. Not a ton of food, though, which must have helped some, because I managed to keep going down in the weight department. The continued positive progress makes me feel great about the benefits that my diet and exercise routines are giving me, and is helping me stay committed to it.

Now, the basement. My mom is having the basement finished. In order to do that, the vast collection of things in the basement has to be moved out. Initially, the belief was that the process would take place over time, and we'd be looking to have a yard sale or two to get rid of some of the unwanted stuff from the basement (toys, books, furniture, etc). Now, however, it's looking like the entire basement is going to need to be cleared out pronto, and so my brother and I have spent a few hours over the past two days (including Sunday, when I was exhausted after getting back from AC) moving boxes and furniture into the garage. While it's a pretty solid workout, the downside is that, at least for the time being, the basement will be off-limits for playing Rock Band or lifting weights. I'm hopeful that the job will be done sooner rather than later, so I can get back into my groove.

FYI, I'm also applying for a new job at my current company. I'm working on a cover letter right now, but I've also been told that I need to put an objective on my resume. Try as I might, though, I've found that everything I start to write out just sounds completely useless for proving that I'm a good fit for the position. Any suggestions would be appreciated. The job position is managing a resume system for a large company.

Week 5 weight: 318.4

Week 4b Fitness Wrap-Up

So the weekend didn't go very well. It wasn't a full-fledged disaster, but it was right there. The fact that I was able to stay under 320 was pretty encouraging, to be honest.

Friday was normal, stayed on the diet, but didn't get any exercise. The main reason I didn't get any exercise is that our basement is being worked on, so the weight bench and the exercise bike have stuff on/hanging off of them, the weights are tucked away to make room for the work to be done, and the television/Rock Band stuff has been moved to avoid the massive amounts of sawdust and regular dust that have been kicked up.

Saturday I did manage to get a little bit of exercise in my first swimming session of the summer. I had forgotten how nice it is to have the pool available, and with the diet/exercise combo going pretty well for me, I'm looking forward to integrating it into my regular activities.

Food on Saturday, however, was another story. I had a couple hamburgers, a couple of bratwursts, a couple slices of pizza, some potato chips, and some Doritos at two different cookouts. There were a lot of cookies and brownies of which I didn't indulge, so that's something.

Sunday I behaved better, but still ate a lot of food, definitely more than I needed to, and again, exercise was an issue. Eddie and I started to go through some of the stuff in the basement, preparing for a yard sale (to be held May 2nd, in case anyone needs, you know, stuff). It probably won't help the basement work get done any faster, but moving boxes and hauling stuff up the stairs is at least a little bit of a workout. I'm also hoping to rearrange my bedroom so as to make room for a Rock Band drum set, again, to at least get a little bit of a work out.

I'm heading to Atlantic City this weekend, which means two things. First, I may not get a blog done this Friday, so you may once again have to wait until Monday for an update. And second, I'd better be pretty damn strict on the diet this week, because I'm going to be drinking my ass off in AC.

Week 4b weight: 319.8

Week 4a Fitness Wrap-Up

A little belated, but I'm going to go ahead and do both posts for week 4. Post 4a is going to have a story that I found humorous (and I believe found me humorous), and post 4b will give a wrap-up of my current situation, as well as how the weekend went.

Week 4a (Fat People)

The story will be completely true, but to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent, I'm going to replace real names with the names of various classic professional wrestling personalities. And for the purposes of this story, the part of Joe Mattingly will be played by Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Our story starts with a fairly standard happenstance: someone posted something on Facebook. I have no problem with the original post, but the topic of the post was inevitably going to invite some questionable comments. The actual original post, by a friend of mine from school, "Miss Elizabeth":

• "...United is making larger people buy two seats. So their employees are being paid to tell people they're fat, embarass [sic] the shit out of them, and make them pay extra for being ginormous...I'm torn between never flying United, or applying for a job."

As I said, I don't have a problem with this comment. There were a few follow-up comments by people I don't know, some talking about other airlines, others decrying United's policy (which actually I also don't have a problem with; I'm over 300 pounds and I've never been asked to buy another seat, so I imagine the policy is for people who simply can't fit into a single seat). Then, another former classmate of mine, "Marty Jannety," made this comment:

• "its more f'd up for the person that pays the same price for their seat and has to deal with collateral bullshit (i.e. fat person next to them). F that. Good for United."

Somehow, Jannety decided to ignore the timbre of the original post (that it's an awkward situation to tell someone they're "too" fat) and talk about how sitting next to an overweight person affects himself. As I said, I've never been asked to buy another seat, so it's very possible that United's policy wouldn't protect him from my belly. In response to this, knowing that he'd at least get a message about it as we're "Facebook friends" (a distinction somewhere between complete stranger and co-worker), I changed my status to:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan loves being called "collateral bullshit."

I received a message from Jannety shortly after posting that status walking back his comments a little bit, and I generally accepted his half-apology. It didn't do me any good to hammer it down, and I do believe that he regretted his choice of words, just as the real Marty Jannety regretted trusting Shawn Michaels, a mistake we can all learn from.

Jannety's comment, however, was the second most bothersome comment on the original post. The number one comment was as follows, by the guy I will ironically call "Mr. Perfect":

• "Haha is been like that for a long time, and not just United. I thought pretty much every airline charged for two seats if your fat. Haha unless they have somne thyroid or medical condition I have no sympathy for fat people. Fucking work out. Simple as that."

I've never met Mr. Perfect, and I've had no previous experience or any knowledge at all of what he's about. Anyways, I'll let you guys comment on that however you want; I feel like I don't need to ennumerate my sentiments. So, we'll fast forward to my response:

• "Lizzie, your friend Mr. Perfect is an ass. I doubt he asks overweight people whether or not they have glandular or medical conditions before he judges them to be less-than. But to hopefully justify his obvious fear of fat people, you can let him know that, given the opportunity, I'll eat him."

Please note that my proper grammer, spelling, and punctuation help people to understand my comment the first time they read it. So yeah, screw that guy.

Week 4a weight: 317.8

Week 3b Fitness Wrap-Up

The funny thing about goals is, what the hell do you do if you don't reach them? I did complete one of my three goals for the weekend - I exercised at least 30 minutes each day.

• Friday - Back and biceps weightlifting for a half hour, walked the family dog for about 15 minutes, and played catch with my uncle for an hour.
• Saturday - Chest and triceps weightlifting for a half hour.
• Sunday - Played softball with some family for an hour and a half, and played catch with my uncle and cousin for an hour.
  

I had hoped to get some Rock Band drumming in, but the combination of Eddie relaxing in the basement and having some household business to do this holiday weekend put a damper on my instrumentation. I may have to move a drum set into my bedroom and see if I can make it work. Prediction: I don't.

Eating was good on Friday and mostly good on Saturday, but Easter was a step backwards. I had a healthy portion of potato chips and onion dip, as well as a slice of Easter pie. It was good, but I felt a little off afterwards, which I guess is a good thing. It makes me think that my body really doesn't want much in the way of sugars and simple carbohydrates. I'm confident that this week I can do enough good to get back on track, and this coming weekend shouldn't have any circumstances that tempt me into going off the diet. Shouldn't.

Still working on the new catch phrase.

Week 3b weight: 321.2

Week 3a Fitness Wrap-Up

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I did almost no exercising, and that's bad. The idea behind this project isn't just to lose weight, which a diet can do on its own for a while. The idea is to become more healthy, to be more fit, to be able to wrestle an alligator. Well, that last part is probably a pipe dream, but the rest is true. I'm not just looking to slim down, even though that's the criteria I've been using to evaluate my progress. And even if that were all I wanted to do, adding in exercise is obviously going to help me in that regard.

As such, my goal this weekend is to exercise each day (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) for at least 30 minutes. If it ends up being Rock Band drumming, though, I'm mandating a full hour; the drumming is good, but it's certainly not the same as "real" exercise. I'm also going to set a goal for next week: at least twice, I want to wake up early and lift. I want to see how it affects my weigh-ins, my appetite, and my energy.

Well, one of my goals is to do that exercise. Another is to get below 320 pounds. And the last is to come up with a catch phrase. All three are vital.

Week 3a weight: 321.8