The Year That Was...2011

So, 2011 is behind us. For some of us, it was a year of rebirth and renewal, excitement and adventure, accomplishment and...well, doesn't matter, wasn't that for me. Aside from a few invaluable new friends and my little weight loss excursion, 2011 was really just another year gone by for me.

Note: This post will only look back on 2011. My intentions for 2012 will be posted in a future blog.

Looking back inside the scope of the blog, I notice a few things. First, I didn't really do much reviewing of books or TV shows. I didn't review much literature because I really only read a half-dozen books last year. And I didn't review TV shows because it's so rare that you watch the entire run of a TV show that you haven't already seen. I think I watched the full series of three shows last year, and only two of which had I seen for the first time: Dead Like Me and Sports Night. The other was Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was obviously fantastic, but I had mostly already seen.

I did review a fair number of movies. Seventeen, if we're being specific...and there's really no reason not to be, when you have the number. There were movies that I liked a lot that I didn't review. Why? I think because reviewing movies doesn't really speak to me. It's a subjective, arbitrary exercise, and it's tough for me to aggressively analyze and judge a movie, when I'm pretty okay with most movies. I like some more than others, of course. But trying to write up a full blog post about my feelings for a movie never felt right. Something to think about going forward.

I did play some games this year, though, I don't know, I feel like I didn't "accomplish" anything with regards to video games. I played a lot of games I'd already played pretty heavily (NHL '09, Mass Effect, Dead Rising 2, League of Legends), and spent a good deal of time on Terraria, which you can't really beat. I enjoyed all of this time, but there's a certain satisfaction that comes from defeating a game that has a definite endpoint.

The weight loss competition between me and Nick was a definite highlight of the year, not just because I was able to lose some weight, but also because it created mandatory parties every month for six months. It seems like people don't throw parties often enough these days, or maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I do like parties. I order you all to throw more parties, and invite me.

I'll be posting my brand new Top 5 Movies of the Year post sometime soon, and I'll start the process of examining my year in video games, so look for that series of annual posts as well. Finally, I'll be posting a sort of New Year's Resolutions blog this month, a little less public than a lot of people make their resolutions, and some of my intentions will be kept to myself, but I'll share some of my plans with the four of you who happen upon my blog in the next three months. So, look forward to that.

See ya, 2011.

Twenty for Thirty - The List

Alright, you may remember that a while ago, I talked about my plans for the 30th year of my life, and how I wanted to set some goddamn goals. Well, mission accomplished. On setting the goals, that is. I still have a long way to go before actually completing them.

I've grouped them based on some arbitrary headings, to help you (and more so myself) keep them organized.

Finances

1) Buy a car. (New, old, whatever, just purchase a vehicle to replace my current one)
2) Move out of my mom's house. (I'm actually fairly close to getting this one accomplished)
3) Make $500 doing something besides my job. (Switching jobs doesn't count)

Social Activities

4) Do something very embarrassing for other people's enjoyment, and laugh it off.
5) Host a party with 25+ people, 10+ girls. (This will probably be helped by the moving out)
6) Participate as a member of an organized sports team. (Coaching is acceptable)
7) Make a new friend.
8) Reconnect with an old friend.
9) Have a romantic kiss on New Year's Eve. (I've never done this; sad, right?)

Fitness

10) Weigh 250 pounds. (For those of you unfamiliar with me, that would constitute losing a lot of weight)
11) Bench press 200 pounds. (I don't know how much I can bench press now, but 200 seems enough to be a goal)
12) Go an entire week without drinking any caffeinated beverage. (We'll say Monday AM to Monday AM)

Creation

13) Design a board game or card game.
14) Complete a first draft of an entire book. (Because I've got the first chapter of nine different books written)
15) Make a movie. (I'm leaving this open to include a big movie, a series of episodes or webisodes, or something else I haven't thought of yet)
16) Write and record a song.
17) Record a CD with 10+ tracks. (Original content not required, but I could knock out two of the twenty if I were to write a song for it)
18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show. (I've been trying to do this for years; it shouldn't be as hard as it's been to get it together)

Celebrity

19) Get mentioned in local news. (The medium is irrelevant; TV, newspaper, Internet, they're all fine)
20) Have a 60+ second conversation with a celebrity. (I'm not sure where I'll draw the line on celebrity, but I figure I'll know it if it happens)

Well, that's the list. If/when I accomplish any of the goals, don't worry, you'll hear about it.

What Is Up?

When I think about why I'm making this blog post, I'm reminded of a memorable quote from my all-time favorite show, The West Wing:

SAM
I think this press conference is about our future.

BARTLET
I think this press conference is about we haven’t had a press conference in a while.

The truth is, there's really nothing too exciting going on, nothing I feel the need to comment on. I just know I haven't written in a while, so here we go.

My pants don't fit anymore. It's in a good way; that is, I've lost enough weight that my pants are too loose, but the actual problem is the same. My pants don't fit anymore. I can get by with them for a little while longer, but the reality is that I'm going to look a little bit silly until I get some new ones.

What does this mean for my recently begun job search? I'm not sure. You're supposed to wear a suit to interviews, and I haven't tried on my suit in a few months. That's second on my to-do list for when I leave work today. Number one on that list is to buy some chewy chocolate chip cookies for my sister. I unknowingly ate the last of her stash (it was in the kitchen, how could I know?), and because I feel her pain on people devouring any food you leave in the kitchen, I'm gonna grab her a box or bag or whatever. Shhh, don't tell her. Everybody likes surprises.

Top 5 Games I've Been Playing Recently

1. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360) - I played Morrowind (the prequel to this game), and was almost immediately frustrated with its lack of direction. Oblivion has only slightly more direction, but it was enough for me, and now I'm hooked. Perhaps the best evidence of its quality is that I'm playing it with almost no interest in stacking achievements. I'm playing the game just to play the game. It's wild.
2. Army of Two (Xbox 360) - I've been playing online with Patrick, both of us looking to pick up some achievements, and it's been a blast. We're both willing to acknowledge when we mess up, and we both mess up a fair amount. But when the cooperation pays off, it's very gratifying.
3. Diablo II (PC) - Kicking it old school, I've always liked the game, and I've talked Chip into giving it a shot. I'm finding out, though, that my desk at home isn't set up very well, ergonomically speaking. Gotta work that out before it hurts my shoulder even more. Anyways, looking forward to giving the game another go-around. Treasure-hunting is my kind of fun.
4. Left 4 Dead (Xbox 360) - I don't play it as much as some people (Patrick and Nick), but it's fun enough. My only qualm, and one that will likely be resolved in the upcoming sequel, is that I suck, and I keep getting matched up against people who are pretty good, so it's embarrassing when I play online. Hopefully Left 4 Dead 2 will have an actual matchmaking system, rather than just throwing people together.
5. Destiny of an Emperor (NES) - Remember when I said I was kicking it old school by playing Diablo II? This is a little bit older school. It's an RPG based in ancient China, and while I prefer the more conventional Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior, it's still a fairly fun game. Plus I'm far enough into it now that I want to take it all the way.

EDIT: In the original version of this post, I had an incorrect statement about Epic. This post has been updated to remove that inaccuracy.

Fitness

Alright, after various other failed attempts, I'm going to once again attempt to lose weight and get strong. The general basis for the fitness will be a rough interpretation of the South Beach Diet and increasing my overall daily activity.

I say a "rough interpretation" because I haven't read the book, and am only going off of the information I've gleaned from various websites. Luckily, the first phase of the diet is fairly straightforward: no grains, no sugar. It's essentially an Atkins diet for the first two weeks. I'll be eating far more than my share of eggs, as well as plenty of chicken, seafood, and salads. While it's the most strict and most difficult part of the diet, it's also the most rewarding. Many dieters have lost ten or more pounds in the first two weeks of the South Beach diet, and that instant gratification is a useful psychological boost to help you stick with it.

I know this because I've done this diet before. I lost thirty pounds the first time, but gained it all back (after completely disintegrating my diet plans). I went on it a second time and lost eight pounds in one week, but lost my way quickly, and once again am back at an unreasonably high weight. Third time's a charm.

With regards to "increasing my overall daily activity," this will come in three forms; two standard, and one that you'll find ridiculous but I swear to you actually does have some impact.

1. Cardiovascular exercise - This will mostly be walking and swimming, with whatever else I can mix in. Taking a walk is as good a reason as any to get away from my desk at work, and with spring coming, the weather should be perfect for regular walks. Come summertime, my mom's pool will be convenient and fun (more so if some of you female readers want to stop by, wink wink).
2. Weight training - While I don't have a whole Bowflex gym in my basement, I have a bench, a barbell, and some dumbbells. I should be able to work my chest, arms, back, and legs with the equipment I have available, and I've actually already started this a little bit. Someday, I hope to be able to lift an entire Dodge Neon over my head, but baby steps.
3. Rock Band (drumming) - This, obviously, is the ridiculous one. But while it's mostly a form of recreation, I find that I work up a decent sweat playing Rock Band, especially if it's right after weight training. So my tentative plan is to couple lifting and drumming in order to maximize the effect of the drumming. The fun part of this plan is trying to figure out which songs are the most difficult while not being songs I can't beat (I'm a fat man; I don't need to be beaten down any more, especially by some impossible metal song).

One of the keys to this whole system is so simple, it covers over 70% of the Earth's surface. I've got to drink much, much more water. It will help my muscles heal after weightlifting. It will fill my stomach and reduce cravings. Water is free at work and free to me at home. And water is just good for you. I've improved on this a little, but I've got a long way to go.

I'll be posting daily (yes, daily) reports every evening, listing everything I ate and the exercise I did that day. You're all welcome to provide input that you think I might find helpful, food ideas to mix it up, encouragement, insults (try to keep them PG-13, Nick). And even though it's recommended that you don't weigh yourself daily, I'll be posting my weight every day as well in the same posts. No forgetting, no lies, no qualifications. This thing is only going to work if I'm completely honest.

Wish me luck.

EDIT

Initial weigh-in: 334 pounds.