Music Hall of Fame: AEnima (Tool)

Note: I know the title isn't written correctly; I tried using the percent signs and such to make the combination A/E but it didn't work. You know what album I'm talking about, so stop complaining.

In high school and the summer to follow, this album was featured heavily when hanging out with "the group," which included Nitin, Sam, Sam, Chip, Laura, Scott, Joe Perez, Carmack, and a few other stragglers from time to time like Lu and Victor. Oh, Victor. Anyways, back to the album. I used to get pissed off when someone (read: Nitin or Perez) would put it on. I found the music abrasive and disagreeable, and a stark contrast from the bands I enjoyed most at that time in my life, like DMB, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and Counting Crows.

I don't know exactly when it was, though if I were to guess, I'd say sometime during my freshman year of college, but I quietly started to enjoy the album. I think I warmed up to it a little bit before then, when we all went to North Carolina for our senior spring break trip. Then, a few trips to visit Nitin at UMD, and I was on the path to Toolville...I know it's not a real place, it's a metaphor, dick.

Anyways, eventually I acquired a Tool CD from Scott. He had made his own "Best of Tool" CD, but then changed his mind about what he wanted to put on the album, rendering the original obsolete. The winner, of course, was me.

Among my favorite songs from this album are H, Stinkfist, Eulogy, and the title track, but the first song I truly embraced was Forty-Six & 2. It's more along the lines of a standard song rather than the industrial/electronic sound that surrounds a lot of their other music. It still hits as hard as any of them, but I think I found it easier to enjoy Forty-Six & 2 earlier because it wasn't all that different from traditional music. The guitar hook is tremendous, one of my favorites from the 90s.

But what really defines this album is the tracks that aren't truly "songs" by the standard definition. Message to Harry Manback is...well, you've really just got to hear it. Also, if you're familiar with Ana Nuckols, you've really got to imagine her saying the stuff from that track, it's a riot. Die Eier von Satan is perhaps the most memorable track on the whole album, drawing its lyrics from a baking recipe, but reciting it in German and making it sound like a political rally...think Nazis.

"Die hard" Tool fans will say Undertow should be the hall of fame inductee, and they're not wrong. Undertow is a tremendous album, and I'd venture to say it may even have more of a broad appeal. But I don't have any stories about Undertow. I've got plenty about this one, so this is the one that makes it...first. Stay tuned, maybe Undertow gets the nod down the road.

Ikariam

I've been monitoring the progress of a pending MMORTS (massively multiplayer online real-time strategy) game called Beyond Protocol. It seems very interesting, at least in theory, and I've been doing a little pestering of the folks there, re-applying to the beta at least one extra time, I think twice, and reading up on the discussions people are having about the game. The diplomacy portion is what I'm really interested in, as it looks like they're planning on having a galaxy-governing body through which players can actually generate changes to the game. How this actually shakes out remains to be seen, but needless to say, I'm intrigued.

But in the meantime, I've been looking for other MMORTS-style games to quench my thirst. I play the occasional game of WarCraft III online, but it's not really what I'm looking for. I want more of a broad scope interactive game that includes diplomacy, economics, city management, and a civilian aspect of the game. Beyond Protocol may not even be that game, as I haven't seen much as far as the civilian side of things. So I've been looking around.

I did some browsing on Wikipedia and stumbled upon Ikariam. I've created an account (on Lambda world, if anyone else wants to join up), and I'm sort of testing the waters. It's a free system, though there is some kind of enhanced experience that you can get by buying "ambrosia" (using real money) and spending that. I haven't investigated that aspect too much, since for the time being I'm really just looking for a time-killer.

In that vein, one of the most appealing aspects of Ikariam is that it's a browser-based game. This means that, if I like, I can check in on it while I'm at work without having to install a big program or anything. I like the idea of checking in, giving new orders, and then getting back to the business of the day....which for me would probably be looking for more of those kinds of games.

Anyways, I've gotten to play it a little bit, and it seems very Civilization-esque. It's got a few different levels of management, from inside your city to the island that you share with a number of other cities, to the whole world (again, Lambda for me). You allocate resources to different tasks (military, research, resource management, etc.), and try to build your city so that it's strong enough to defend itself from eventual attackers while having the capacity to expand to new territories. Again, I'm very early in the game, and don't know exactly how combat or expansion works, but I know they're in the game somehow, and I'm looking forward to finding out.

All in all, it seems encouraging. I'm not going to declare right now that it's my kind of game, but it's certainly got the tools to be something I'm happy to throw some time into. If you decide to join up, let me know so I can track your town's progress and direct you towards my own.

Video Game Hall of Fame: Mega Man 2

Younger people are going to remember their first big time video game as something relatively recent, maybe Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, or Super Mario Kart, or Super Smash Brothers. And older folks will probably remember Tetris or Pong. For people my age and a bit younger, there's going to be a wide variety of games, like Super Mario Brothers, Ninja Gaiden, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Dragon Warrior. But for me, the first, big time, "gotta play it for as long as my mom will let me" game was Mega Man 2.

Mega Man 2 had all the things people liked about the Super Mario Brothers series: jumping, running, and bad guys. It was a fairly standard platform game, as were many of the most popular games of that era. But there were a few really neat pieces that made it one of my favorite games of all time, and based on my conversations with others around my age, I'm not alone.

First, the concept of taking your enemy's weapon and using it yourself is awesome. I'm sure it wasn't started in the Mega Man series, and plenty of people out there would suggest some other origin for the concept, but the first time I saw it was in Mega Man 2. Beating Wood Man and then using the leaf shield to get through Crash Man's stage was very gratifying. As was using the air cannon from Air Man to take down Crash Man himself in two hits.

The second aspect of Mega Man 2 that warmed my heart was the ability to choose your path for at least the first half of the game. Initially, you spend all your time trying to figure out which weapon works best on which boss, so you can try to always have your enemy's weakness handy. But as time goes on, it became more of a personal challenge. For those of you familiar with the game, you'll know that trying to beat Quick Man's stage without Flash Man's weapon was a very serious undertaking. And when I was finally able to do it, I felt like a million bucks.

But there's one thing that transcends even those two impressive features: the music. You wouldn't think that the music from an old 8-bit Nintendo game would be such a selling point, but it was absolutely tremendous. Each song suited its stage brilliantly, and they were all well made tunes. What's that you say? That kind of music would've been nice enough in the 80's, but nobody cares about it today? Not so fast, my friend. Check out the many remixes that have been done of classic Mega Man 2 songs on OCRemix.org, a favorite site of mine.

This may be called a "Blog For The Modern Human," but sometimes its the classics that hold the most sway. I could play Mega Man 2 today and love it. In fact....I've got to run.

Flight of the Conchords

Alright, it's time. You've probably heard me allude to them on here or my other blog, or make countless references in conversation. But now it's finally time for me to tell you how much I love Flight of the Conchords.

A lot.

There are actually two entities called Flight of the Conchords: the band and the show, starring the band. I like the band, but I'm more impressed with the show. Granted, each episode has at least two songs written by the band, and they're not always perfectly integrated, but their main goal is comedic, and the show has more LPMs (laughs per minute) than any of their songs.

The trouble, of course, is that retelling the jokes in written form is a complete waste. You'll have to get out there and look for yourselves. YouTube has got a lot of clips from the show, but some of them are out of context and may not be as humorous as they could be. In fact, to really show you what the show is all about, it's probably better to tell you to look up the music videos from the show on YouTube. Some of them don't really fit into the storylines, or give you a good idea of what the show is all about, but I've got a few that are particularly funny, and also give you a good sense of the show's sense of humor. I'll link them to their respective videos when I get home; I'm at work right now and YouTube is among the very few restricted websites.

• Business Time
• The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room
• Albi, The Racist Dragon
• Pencils In The Wind

With season one available for $19.99 at Circuit City online, it's a small investment that you can expect to return a lot of laughs. If you enjoy the videos, you'll love the show. Think of the Office, except with characters who are more quirky and less insane.

Movie Hall of Fame: Old School

I actually liked Old School before it came out. I was a Will Ferrell fan long before the movie was released, thanks to one of my favorite movies, Night At The Roxbury, as well as his masterful work on Saturday Night Live. But even all of those precursors didn't prepare me for the quantity and intensity of laughter I'd enjoy from Old School.

Ferrell sort of set the groundwork for his characters in more recent films (Blades of Glory specifically) with a somewhat dumb but very intense demeanor. Many films have used the age-old tradition of streaking to try to get cheap laughs (one even focused almost exclusively on the act, to its demise), but no other instance of bare-assed running has ever come close to the humor that Ferrell created. His interactions with Snoop Dogg and his new wife are comedic genius (as is the therapy meeting that follows), and provide some of the most quotable lines: "Everybody's doing it."

Vince Vaughn plays about the same character in every movie, but Old School might be the apex of it all. He talks a shit ton of trash, and I love it. Luke Wilson plays the straight man, as he often does, and while he doesn't have a lot of great lines, he gives a lot of set up to Ferrell and Vaughn. Jeremy Piven, as Dean Pritchard, does a great job of playing "the man," going opposite his own previous role from one of Old School's predecessors, PCU.

The simple fact is this: I have never laughed more at any movie than the first time I watched Old School. I have a tough time saying there have ever been any better comedies, in my time or any time. And when you're the best at what you do, you get a spot in my hall of fame.

Unless it's country music. Sorry Garth, Tim, Hank, and the rest of you. Move along.

Free Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

For the 96% of you who read this blog and like donuts, I've got a printable coupon for you. You can get a free dozen glazed donuts with the purchase of a dozen assorted donuts. For those of you who work in offices, it's a great way to make some friends at a fraction of the normal price...of making friends.

http://krispykreme.qm4.net/shared/images/44/44_20080311004024.jpg

I found this deal at www.slickdeals.net, which has a variety of other deals on a daily basis. If I find particularly good ones (and as importantly, ones that don't appear to have a shelf life of less than 24 hours), I'll try to remember to mention them here.

Music Hall of Fame: Dulcinea (Toad the Wet Sprocket)

Depending on how well you know me (and perhaps more importantly, how long you've known me), this album may be an intriguing surprise, or may produce a head-slapping "Of course!" As a high school student in the mid-90's, I tended to favor the adult contemporary stations over the alternative and hip-hop stations that most of my peers opted for. I was more of a VH-1 kid than an MTV kid. While that occasionally left me out of discussions concerning popular music, for me the better music was its own reward.

Among the bands featured on these stations (and one of the reasons I listened to them) was Toad the Wet Sprocket. I was introduced to the band by my uncle (RIP Uncle Paul), who over time has also introduced me to Better Than Ezra and the Dave Matthews Band, both of which I've enjoyed extensively. The album Dulcinea was arguably the band's most commonly appreciated, and in my opinion definitely their most complete and most impressive.

The opening song is Fly From Heaven, a tune which starts with the lyrics, "Paul is making me nervous," a point not lost on my uncle, and one he gladly reminded us of when the chance arose. The radio hits were Fall Down and Something's Always Wrong, but you could make the case that half of the album was radio-friendly and radio-worthy. One of my personal favorites is the dark Begin, which features echoes that call to mind a Pink Floyd styled ambience.

If you're wondering whether or not this album fits your taste, that's a fair question. I would say that if you like good music, it's probably right up your alley. And if you listen and find that you don't like the album, then I'd venture to say that you were simply mistaken, and you in fact do not like good music. Don't be embarrassed, it's a simple error that many people make on a daily basis. Now go listen to your O.A.R. trash.

God I hate O.A.R.

Moving Sale

Hey everyone, I'm moving out of my place in Altoona and won't need many of the things I've got in my apartment. So I'm trying to get rid of some of my stuff. Check out the following link to see pictures and prices for the stuff (it's mostly furniture).

http://www.freewebs.com/jargon/Stuff/index.html

You may have seen this in an e-mail previously, but a lot of new items have been added to the listing, so be sure to check it out to see if there's anything you want/need.

Video Game Hall of Fame: Diablo II

Blizzard is one of the most impressive video game companies in the business. They've established three huge franchises in WarCraft, StarCraft, and Diablo, and every game they've released in each of those franchises has been a rousing success. While it's likely that a number of Blizzard titles will eventually be members of this personal Hall of Fame, the first inductee will be Diablo II, as well as the Lord of Destruction expansion pack.

The game was a tremendous upgrade over the original Diablo (not to knock that game, either), offering improvements on every level. On top of improved interfaces, vastly expanded skills, greatly individualized character classes, and sharper graphics, Diablo II offered a lot of features that created a much richer and more rewarding online gaming experience, without the hassle and psychological burden of a monthly fee.

While individual games are limited to 8 players, players of many of the larger massively multiplayer games will acknowledge that you only rarely find yourself interacting with more than four other players in those games. The game doesn't boast an exceptional trading system, instead relying on game names and discussion in the Blizzard-supported chat channels to facilitate player-to-player exchanges. Despite its weaknesses, the rewards of trading with other players can be profound, as Diablo II introduced the concept of "set items:" various weapons and pieces of armor that, when equipped at the same time, offered one or more bonus boosts to your character. I've found many of these complete sets to be useful well beyond the required character levels.

But I do have sort of a love/hate relationship with Diablo II. Recently, I've encountered periods of cripplingly high latency, resulting in game freezes and occasionally my character's demise. While the death penalty isn't terrible, it does cost a great deal of money when you die, and the run to my corpse to retrieve my items is frustrating. I've ended my evening of play on more than one occasion due to excessive lag.

Still, the single player or direct IP connection games that you can set up with friends offer the opportunity to play the game without the risk of slow network operation ruining the experience. And the game itself is extremely fun, offering seven different classes of characters with very unique skills to give you very different playing experiences between them. They also do a good job of appealing to a number of different playing styles, from the bruising barbarian to the frail but powerful sorceress.

Diablo II seems to resurface on a regular basis in my gaming life cycle, and I have no doubt that it will continue to do so until the next sequel to the series comes out. It's certainly nowhere near as broad as the big MMORPGs of today (especially World of WarCraft), but it's got plenty of depth to keep players coming back for more. And of course, it's got a ton of different loot to go after. After all, both the original Diablo and its sequel have been, at their core, treasure hunting games. And they were both among the best games of their time.

Welcome to the club, Diablo II.

Diablo Battle Chest

Movie Hall of Fame: Field of Dreams

Initially I had thought that I should try to think of my all-time favorite movie and have that be the first inductee into the brand new Hall of Fame, but I decided against that for two reasons. First, I have trouble deciding my all-time favorite movie. Second, it's nice to pick a movie that's topical, and with the baseball season getting revved up, a baseball movie fits the bill perfectly.

Now, some of you (specifically those of you who are Indians fans) might suggest that Major League is a better baseball movie, and I'll concede one point to you: Major League is much more focused on baseball than Field of Dreams. But Field of Dreams blows Major League out of the water when it comes to simple movie quality. Also, there's a specific aspect of how Field of Dreams treats the sport of baseball that makes it, I think, a better baseball movie (I'll expand on this in a minute).

Back to the movie itself, Field of Dreams stars Kevin Costner as a farmer who hears a voice telling him to build a baseball field in his field of corn. People mostly think he's crazy, but he does it anyways, and magic ensues. For the twelve of you on the planet who haven't seen the movie, I won't ruin it, but there's a lot of traveling, some more voices, and very interesting and well-played characters. Obviously, the movie has a fantastic quality that requires you to let go of the logic centers in your brain, but if you're able to enjoy Disney World or the Super Smash Brothers video games, you shouldn't have any trouble enjoying the film.

The aspect of the movie that sets it apart for me, though, is its treatment of baseball. Throughout the movie (and particularly at the end), baseball is appreciated as something greater than just a game, but a part of American culture, and something that has contributed to the identity of Americans. Is baseball some kind of holy concept? No, but it's certainly more than just the game. It's become an institution, and Field of Dreams highlights the great parts of it, the stuff that has nothing to do with steroids or contract negotiations.

The movie also does a great job of including baseball stories that highlight the particularly dramatic nature of so many baseball situations. That's what makes baseball so appealing, and so American: the drama. Soccer is a fine sport, but the vast majority of soccer games are minimally dramatic, pushing passes through midfield, clearing balls lobbed deep into the defensive territory, and the ball just coasting along, waiting for someone to get to it. In baseball (and football, the two huge American sports), drama is never in short supply.

The last piece of the puzzle for this movie is a story about Kevin Costner's character and his relationship with his now deceased father. It adds an emotional storyline that gets highlighted occasionally throughout the movie but doesn't really get fully addressed until very late. When I was younger, I didn't really care for this part very much, but after losing my own father, I now understand what my mom/uncles/aunts appreciated so much about the end of the movie. I'm a total sap, so I get weepy at most sad moments in movies, but I can usually tell which parts are legitimately heart-wrenching, and which are just standard fare, and this one, though completely understated, is the real deal.

So there you have it, your first member of the House Housington Media Hall of Fame: Field of Dreams. Look forward to a new inductee on March 20th, which will be our first video game member. It's a great PC game by one of the strongest game developing companies ever.

A New Hall of Fame

As I've mentioned to many people in the past, I think most Halls of Fame are innately flawed. The choices of inductees lend themselves heavily to emotional biases, since voters are all human, and we are naturally emotional creatures. It's not that this emotional characteristic of humans is bad; it just means that personal likes and dislikes are going to come into play when deciding who's worthy of induction.

And I'm not just talking about sports halls of fame here. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in fact the most recent institution I've evaluated, and it seems like they induct pretty much anybody who's even mildly influential. You can look forward to future Hall of Fame members No Doubt, Barenaked Ladies, Korn, and Rob Thomas. Listen, I like some music by each of those artists, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But the Hall of Fame should be less about likes and dislikes and popularity, and more about transcendence. Members of any hall of fame should be those that are clearly a cut above, those whose work makes most others in their category seem insignificant.

So, since I can't affect any changes in the way halls of fame choose their members, or take action to remove those I feel are unworthy, I'm starting my own: The House Housington Media Hall of Fame, with inductees in the categories of albums, movies, and video games. (I intentionally chose three categories without widely acknowledged halls of fame, because I don't necessarily want to kick dirt on the shoes of those who vote for, work for, or respect other halls; I just want to establish and share my own, correct opinion).

Inductees will be announced once a month on the following schedule:

• Albums - 1st of each month
• Movies - 10th of each month
• Video Games - 20th of each month

As the more astute of you might have figured out, that means I've got my first announcement due Monday, March 10th, only a day away. That's correct, and I've got a dandy of a movie coming your way. Talk to you in 24.

Pizza Hut Online Is A Joke

Alright, the basic idea behind ordering a pizza online is twofold, at least to my understanding:

1. Ordering online prevents the customer from having to actually talk to another human being, reducing potential interpersonal tension from the equation (if you don't think this can be a problem, the next time you're hanging out, nominate someone else to order the food, and you see if they don't squirm just a little bit).
2. Ordering online creates a digital ticket that should result in fewer problems resulting from human error, miscommunication, or general malaise by the order taker.

That's why you order online; you don't have to talk to anyone and the place is more likely to get your order exactly correct. I'm a fan of ordering online. I think most businesses should offer online ordering, especially food delivery places. If I didn't have to call up for Chinese food and could instead order it online, I'd be up to my eyeballs in General Tso's chicken.

But Pizza Hut seems to miss a piece of this puzzle. Allow me to elaborate.

I have ordered from the local Altoona, PA Pizza Hut near me a number of times, almost always through their website. If my memory serves me correctly, the first few times were pleasantly uneventful and involved approximately zero effort on my part. Then, one time, I placed the order online and received a phone call soon after from my local Pizza Hut. They were wondering where I found the coupon that I had used for my order. I explained that it was on the PizzaHut.com website, and that seemed to satisfy their inquiry. Though not exactly. When the driver arrived, he said, "That'll be $16.41 and a coupon." I explained that it was one of the coupons available to click on the website, and whether by the merit of my explanation or his own distaste for human interaction (which I certainly share), he accepted it and left.

My hope was that my experience was a result of a kink in the Pizza Hut online ordering system that would be worked out on the corporate side. Bzzzt! Incorrect.

I received another phone call after my next online purchase, this time asking me to print out the coupon I used. What? Just print it out and give it to the driver. I don't understand that, but again, I believed the problem to be a system-based problem that would get worked out soon enough.

Months later, after a hiatus from pizza, I ordered from Pizza Hut again, just recently. No call this time, thankfully, and I waited with baited breath for my warm Stuffed Crust pizza and boneless buffalo wings. The driver arrived at the door, and said what I ought to have expected: "There's your receipt to sign, and you have a coupon?" No, sir, I ordered it online and do not have a coupon. "Okay, they'd like you to print out the coupon and give it to the driver in the future." Really? "Yeah, just print it out and give it to the driver." Okay, I'll do that the next time I order from you guys.

I will never order from them again.

What exactly is the point of a complex online ordering system if not to eliminate the need for paper coupons? When you order stuff on sale at Amazon, do they make you give the USPS guy a printout of the item description from the day you ordered it? I mean, the coupon is on your site and in your computer system. I clicked it and the system already knew what I was ordering, and took me to a page to make whatever decisions I needed to make concerning this dish. Your system told you that the pizza was ordered online, and gave you a total price for the order. I didn't hack your damn system to save four bucks on a large pizza.

I haven't decided yet how much swearing I'm going to do on this blog, but rest assured, if I had decided to go all out, this post would've been chock full of expletives. More than anything else, I hate when people make me waste my time or my resources; Pizza Hut was asking me to do both.

In fairness, I've ordered Pizza Hut pizza online at my mother's house and had no such problems. It's possible that the Altoona branch isn't sophisticated enough to fully integrate itself into the online ordering system. But if that's the case, then just don't offer online orders. Papa John's has never even suggested that I provide a coupon for my online order. They've got a fully integrated system, and they understand that if you're going to allow online ordering, you'd better do it right. I prefer Pizza Hut pizza, and I believe Pizza Hut pizza is generally less expensive. But that little tweak of convenience is worth it to me to downgrade to Papa John's for the foreseeable future.

I should write Pizza Hut a letter, or at least an email. But I'd rather just complain about it.