Twenty for Thirty - The List

Alright, you may remember that a while ago, I talked about my plans for the 30th year of my life, and how I wanted to set some goddamn goals. Well, mission accomplished. On setting the goals, that is. I still have a long way to go before actually completing them.

I've grouped them based on some arbitrary headings, to help you (and more so myself) keep them organized.

Finances

1) Buy a car. (New, old, whatever, just purchase a vehicle to replace my current one)
2) Move out of my mom's house. (I'm actually fairly close to getting this one accomplished)
3) Make $500 doing something besides my job. (Switching jobs doesn't count)

Social Activities

4) Do something very embarrassing for other people's enjoyment, and laugh it off.
5) Host a party with 25+ people, 10+ girls. (This will probably be helped by the moving out)
6) Participate as a member of an organized sports team. (Coaching is acceptable)
7) Make a new friend.
8) Reconnect with an old friend.
9) Have a romantic kiss on New Year's Eve. (I've never done this; sad, right?)

Fitness

10) Weigh 250 pounds. (For those of you unfamiliar with me, that would constitute losing a lot of weight)
11) Bench press 200 pounds. (I don't know how much I can bench press now, but 200 seems enough to be a goal)
12) Go an entire week without drinking any caffeinated beverage. (We'll say Monday AM to Monday AM)

Creation

13) Design a board game or card game.
14) Complete a first draft of an entire book. (Because I've got the first chapter of nine different books written)
15) Make a movie. (I'm leaving this open to include a big movie, a series of episodes or webisodes, or something else I haven't thought of yet)
16) Write and record a song.
17) Record a CD with 10+ tracks. (Original content not required, but I could knock out two of the twenty if I were to write a song for it)
18) Host a Joe and Joe trivia show. (I've been trying to do this for years; it shouldn't be as hard as it's been to get it together)

Celebrity

19) Get mentioned in local news. (The medium is irrelevant; TV, newspaper, Internet, they're all fine)
20) Have a 60+ second conversation with a celebrity. (I'm not sure where I'll draw the line on celebrity, but I figure I'll know it if it happens)

Well, that's the list. If/when I accomplish any of the goals, don't worry, you'll hear about it.

Disney World '09

I went to Disney World again, December 2nd through the 6th. It was a fun trip, though I'm starting to realize that I need some freshness in future trips, if they're going to happen. My mom and my youngest brother are fun, but I think I'd like to have the opportunity to mix things up from time to time, and that's not easy with a three-person group.

I had a sore foot for the entire trip (and still do today), so all the walking around wasn't great. I'm sure that also contributed to the trip being not as much fun as last year. No pictures this time, sorry, you'll just have to trust me when I say I was there. :)

We stayed at the Contemporary Resort, which is a monorail ride away from the Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center. The value of this convenience is substantial. Since the Magic Kingdom is my favorite park, it gave us the opportunity to mix in a Magic Kingdom trip whenever we wanted (just twice, but still). The resort also has lots of the standard Disney amenities: swimming pool with a slide, convenience mart, several restaurants, and an arcade.

The coolest thing about our room, though, was the view. Our room faced the Magic Kingdom, which had two big positives. First, we could see Cinderella's castle lit up at night, glowing in the distance. Second, we were able to appreciate the Magic Kingdom's nightly fireworks show from our pair of balconies. I'm a man who likes his fireworks.

Longtime readers may remember that our group really enjoyed the Yak and Yeti restaurant in Animal Kingdom on last year's trip. We went back again this year, and it was good, but not as good as last year. I think part of the reason is that this year, we elected to go with Disney's dining plan, which lets you choose a drink, an entree, and a dessert. It's nice, and it's a good deal, but appetizers can be just as good as main courses. It was a shame to feel like we ought not order appetizers, so that we didn't waste our dining plan. So, that part I regret.

• Read a full-length book in less than 24 hours.

I read all of one book and part of another during the trip. I bought Slam by Nick Hornby in Dulles Airport on Wednesday morning, and finished it Wednesday night in Orlando. It was very good, though the first half was better than the second half. I bought Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk in the Orlando airport, and finished it a few days ago. It was also good, though if you know anything about Palahniuk, you know it had its share of depravity. Not necessarily in a bad way, and it definitely adds to the story, but it does prevent me from recommending the book to people who I don't perceive as having at least some level of depravity (so yes, Greg, you can borrow it). I decided somewhere in the middle of Slam that I wanted to read more books, and Chip let me borrow High Fidelity, so I started reading that (though at a normal, non-vacation pace).

Now, as I promised to Plundo, the review of Disney attractions that I saw for the first time this trip.

• Went on a new ride (or rides) at a theme park.

Snow White's Scary Adventures (2/5)
There are a lot of rides at Disney World that are pretty similar. Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, Little Nemo, etc. They're all slowish rides along a track that follow a particular Disney story, and Snow White is no different. Part of the problem for me is that I never found Snow White particularly entertaining. The ride was fine, but I'd put it behind most similar rides.

Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor (4/5)
Okay, truth be told, it's more of a three star attraction, but it was a four star experience. It's essentially a brief comedy show where they use real-time cartoons on a movie screen stage. What makes it pretty funny is that the monster comedians actually interact with people in the audience, reacting to what they say, and calling people by their names. They have a separate screen at the front that shows who they're talking to, and how they react. What made our experience particularly good is that my mom was one of the audience members featured in the show. Embarrassment is always funny. :)

Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress (1/5)
I considered giving this ride zero stars out of five, but that goes against the grading standard. Plus, it's got some marginal value. You get to sit, which is nice, and I hear that it's especially good when the weather is hot, because it's indoor and air conditioned. The attraction sits you in a rotating theater that goes through a few different years, and the scenes play out with an animatronic guy telling you about all of the new technology of that particular era. If possible, it's more boring than it sounds. Also, the guy has a dog who lives to be like 80, which would be cool, but come on.

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (4/5)
There are two parts to this attraction. There are a few action scenes with lots of stunts, including an airplane, machine guns, explosions, spears, and of course, a giant rolling boulder. The rest of the show is in between, where they involve the audience, make some jokes, and talk about what it's like to make a movie, and do stunts. The in between time is okay, and the stunts are pretty bad ass. Boom. Four stars.

Soarin' (5/5)
My sister had reported that Epcot's Soarin' was kind of a disappointment when she had gone on it, and that the line was astronomically long. The line was very long, but I thought the ride was fantastic. You sit in a row of chairs that gets lifted, putting you in front of a giant screen. The screen then goes through several hang-gliding scenes, with ups and downs, mixing in smells to go along (orange orchards and pine trees were what I remember). I think you have to let yourself just watch the screen, rather than look around at the other riders, but as long as you do that, it's an awesome ride.

Bayou Billy

As some of you may remember (or just assume), I'm crazy about video game music. There's a whole site dedicated to video game music (OC Remix), and today's selection comes from that site. The song is called El Lagarto, by Evil Horde. The original song is from the game The Adventures of Bayou Billy.

I might normally give you a description of the song's style, tenor, etc., but not today. Today I'm just asking you to listen. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments.

Twenty for Thirty

Yes, 20 for 30 would be a pretty solid completion percentage for a quarterback, or an unbelievable tear for a hitter, but I'm talking about neither of those.

Here's the idea. Next year is 2010, and I was born in 1980. So next year is the 30th year of my existence, and the year of my 30th birthday. With all of my recent talk about achievements, I got to thinking that maybe I should put together a list of things I'd like to do before I turn 30. I scaled it back a few months, and decided I'll put together a list of things I want to accomplish by the end of my 30th year, the year 2010.

I've got a preliminary list of not quite twenty goals, but I'd be happy to hear any ideas, discuss any topics, or dismiss any suggestions you might have. Drop me a line or post a comment if you've got something worth saying...or even if not, really. I'm the only one who reads this blog anyways.

:)

Games, and Real Life Achievements

A few weeks ago, as a result of several discussions with Chip, I decided since I spend a decent amount of time worried about accumulating Xbox Achievements, maybe I should incorporate that concept into my everyday life. It'll give me something to blog about, and, perhaps more importantly, it'll give me a reason to do things that are achievement-worthy. My trip to Atlantic City this past weekend gave me a couple opportunities...

• "Lost" more than thirty minutes due to heavy partying.

Yes, the trip was interesting and eventful. What's unfortunate, though, is that from hearing about all of my comments and antics, it sounds like I was near the top of my game with regards to humor. It would've been nice to have firsthand memories of that debauchery. Also I seem to have burnt my tongue at some point during the night, and I've been dealing with that for a few days, so I must have burnt it pretty damn good.

In pretty much unrelated news, I love games. Mostly video, but board games can be fun as well. I've got one of each variety that I'd like to talk about today, and both of which I recommend fully.

Agricola

Allegedly, it's pronounced ah-GRI-ko-lah, but I will continue to pronounce it as if it were a farm soda. No matter how you say it, the game is seriously fun.

The basic premise of Agricola is that you're a farmer trying to make a living through the acquisition and development of farmland and livestock. The goal is to, at the end of the game, have the most complete, successful, and diverse farm in the game. The availability of resources and your opponents' actions play a heavy role in determining what your strategy ought to be. It's got a fairly low amount of luck involved, which is right up my alley (those of you familiar with my opinion on using kickers in fantasy football know that I don't like luck).

Most importantly, perhaps, is that I'm not terrible at the game. In fact, just last weekend...

• Won a game of Agricola
  

League of Legends

League of Legends is based on the very popular Warcraft III custom map called Defense of the Ancients, or DotA for short. The basic premise is similar to Warcraft III, where two armies clash, each with the intent of destroying the opposing army's base. In this game, though, the two armies are controlled by artificial intelligence. Each player controls a "champion" unit on one of the two sides, with special abilities that he or she can use to turn the tide of the battle.

This new game is good, but it seems that the balance could be improved, and that the heroes could have a little more variety. Virtually every hero has a stunning attack and a nuke, and none of the heroes have any sort of unit summons. The game shouldn't be focused so dramatically on hero-killing, and I'm hopeful that through various future updates, the designers will provide a more unique experience with each champion.

I have no achievement associated with this game, as I haven't really done very well thus far. Whatever, suck on it.

Queen Songs for Rock Band

I like playing Rock Band. I love the band Queen. Ten Queen songs are coming to Rock Band at the end of October. I am happy.

• Another One Bites The Dust
• Crazy Little Thing Called Love
• Fat Bottomed Girls
• I Want It All
• I Want to Break Free
• Killer Queen
• One Vision
• Somebody to Love
• Tie Your Mother Down
• Under Pressure

Conspicuous in its absence is Bohemian Rhapsody, but it's still a nice little set of songs. And I can't imagine a scenario where I don't buy them all.

Let's Stop Driving: Mother Nature

Mother Nature is a bitch.

We're like a bunch of petulant children who have been getting our way for years while Mom wasn't looking. But eventually, Mom realizes what we've been up to and starts throwing shoes at us. Humans have been advancing technologically at a frantic rate, figuring out all sorts of things, not the least of which is transportation. We drive, we ride, we fly, and we go where we want to go. But what we don't realize is that every time we go somewhere, we're tempting Mother Nature to give us a pump to the forehead.

(By the way, for the purposes of this post, I'm referring to the natural world when I say "Mother Nature. That is to say, "Mother Nature" is the Earth and how it works. Okay go.)

Lights Out

People weren't made for night time. We naturally get tired when lights go out. The basic schedules of our society work around the existence of sunlight. Why? Because people can't see in the dark. We need light for reading, for assembling, for cooking, and yes, for driving. You know how I know we need light for driving? Because we put these giant brightening devices on the fronts of cars.

"So we've got the lights, what's the problem?" you ask, knowing full well that I've already got an answer. The problems are twofold. First, the targeted beams of headlights are a poor substitute for the piercing, all-encompassing glow of sunlight. A night driver's peripheral and rear-view vision is almost nil. The second issue is the human eye. Our pupils grow and shrink based on the amount of light in our environment, to help improve vision in particularly bright or dark situations. But at night, when everything is dark, the beam of another car's headlights feels like staring at the sun, and your vision suffers. Impaired vision + night driving = not good. And that's science.

Through Rain, and Sleet, and Snow...

A 2005 survey reported that the average American commuter spends 26 minutes driving to work each day, and that most of us do that commute five days a week, 50 weeks a year. That's 250 days of traveling 50 minutes to and from work, through all sorts of weather conditions. For those of you not so good with math, that's over 200 hours of driving per year, just on your daily work commute.

We're all familiar with the effect of snow on driving conditions, and sometimes we respect it enough to say that it's not worth taking your life in your hands to drive to work today. But a lot of the time, you go to work anyways. You go despite sleet and snow and icy road conditions. The roads weren't designed for icy conditions, and really, neither were our cars (or we'd have spikes in the tires). But you go anyways, for the $75 or $200 or $500 you make in a day, because it's easier than telling your boss that you're uncomfortable driving in the day's weather conditions. Hey, I know all about it. It's the same reason I prefer ordering pizza online; that way, I don't have to talk to anyone.

What about a foggy morning or a stormy day? You'd never consider taking a day off for those kind of weather conditions, but in a lot of ways, those conditions are just as dangerous as ice, and people don't respect them. You'd never wait an hour to leave for work just because it's foggy outside. But you might be wise to do just that; again, impaired visibility is something that is simply unacceptable when you're dealing with a deadly machine like an automobile.

It's Coming Right For Us!

(Hopefully that reference isn't lost on all of you.)

Outside of weather, Mother Nature provides one more big problem for driving: animals. There are an estimated 20 million+ deer in the United States today, and if you spend any time in a rural or suburban area, you know that they're around. The extermination of many natural predators of deer has contributed to an ever-increasing deer population, and it's no surprise that they're showing up everywhere.

Deer are involved in an estimated 1.5 million vehicle collisions every year, and cause $1.1 billion in damages, along with 150 motorist deaths. Fences, guardrails, and deer whistles have not stifled the impact of deer collisions on humans' daily lives, and it's difficult to foresee a change that will. The reality is that, as long as we have any desire to preserve animals in a somewhat natural environment, and as long as we insist on driving cars on roads, we're going to encounter deer and other animals while driving.

"So we're screwed then, right?" Well, no. As long as we insist on driving cars on roads, yes, we're screwed. That's the whole point of this series of posts, remember? "Let's stop driving," that's the whole idea. I'm just trying to point out all the problems with driving, so we can start to realize that this simply can't be the apex of human transportation. There simply must be something better.

Funnies

That's the plural of funny, and not a particularly entertaining type of rabbit.

Two funny things for you. First, if you've never come across Jake and Amir in your Internet-ly travels, you've been missing out on some funny stuff. They're a couple of guys from College Humor who've been pumping out two videos a week for a couple years now. The videos are 1-3 minutes long, but they're long on humor. I recommend you go to the site and just click "Random Video" a few times. My guess is something will come up that you'll like.

The second funny thing for you is my cousin's blog, Opinionated Truths. He's pretty funny. Laugh at him. Not with him, at him.

How To Rate A Movie

I opened a Netflix account a few months ago, and have been enjoying the movie-watching opportunities it's offered. I generally don't see many movies, so this has been my opportunity to catch up on all those "have to see" films.

Facebook offers a feature whereby your Netflix ratings (which Netflix uses to determine what kind of movies you might like and suggests them) are posted on Facebook for all to see. So when I gave the second Fantastic Four movie two stars, my friends saw that I didn't think much of the movie. Likewise, when I ranked High Fidelity as a five-star movie, Facebook automatically relayed that information.

As my ratings have become public, I've started to give them a little more thought, and the most recent movie I've watched has given me some trouble: Taken. It's by no means an intellectual movie, and it doesn't have that big twist that's been seemingly mandatory ever since The Usual Suspects came out. But I found it very entertaining, and also thought it had a satisfying ending.

So the dilemma is this: Do I rate the movie with regards to how impressive it is, how thoughtful the script is, and how powerful it is? Or do I rate it simply with how happy I was to have watched it afterward?

I choose the latter. For me, the ultimate test of a work is not (and never has been) whether the piece showed expertise or inspiration, but whether or not I enjoyed it. I gave The Rock five stars a couple months ago, and unknowingly used this exact logic.

I've spent most my life enjoying "lame" music, watching "nerdy" movies, and just generally being a "geek" or "dork." I like what I like, and after 29 years of life, maybe it's time to fully embrace that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to listen to some Michael McDonald, watch a couple Harry Potter movies, and see if that Magic: The Gathering game has come out for the Xbox Live Arcade yet (it apparently has).

Just Like Music

First things first, I have decided nothing for my birthday. I'll probably have pie of some sort, though fried ice cream is still on the table. Dessert is about all I look forward to these days. PS: There's pie at the house.

Moneyball is the second most important book I've ever read, behind only Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.

Remember ages ago when I said I was going to start posting audio files of myself playing and singing songs on a regular basis? And remember how not only did I not start posting them on a regular basis, but didn't in fact post a single one? Well, I've got a faint hope of finally coming around on that. Faint.

I'm compiling a list of potential songs right now, and putting them into two categories: A) songs I can play/have played, and B) songs I think I could play and might sound good, were it someone else singing and playing. If you've got any suggestions for either list, I'm happy to hear them. I make no promises about how long it'll take to post anything, or even that anything will progress on this front at all.

Wish me luck.

Cumpleanos

As some of you know (those of you who are real friends), I've got a birthday coming up here in a couple weeks. I've brainstormed a little about what I want to do, but I'm not having a lot of success. So far, the only certainties I've got are that I want to do something, and I'd like to drink some Leinenkugel's beer while I'm doing whatever that something is.

So let's fill in the blank. What will I do for my birthday? It's a Saturday, which adds some possibilities. The default, and I'm sure the first idea that most of you will have (as it was the first idea I had) is to go out. Get a good dinner, go to some bars, have drinks, get someone else to pay. And that doesn't sound terrible, but A) I can go out to bars whenever, B) it'll almost certainly be a group of fifteen guys and two girls, and C) I don't normally seek out bar trips, so it feels strange to do so as a special occasion.

I'm not discounting the possibility of going out to a bar or bars for my birthday, but I feel like I can do better than that. So what do I like doing? Well, playing video games, for starters. I've had fun pretty much every time we've gotten a group together to play (usually Halo or Halo 2), but it's always a challenge getting enough people to build two solid teams. Plus, my basement is still being worked on, so my house isn't a great option for hosting such an event. Add to that the fact that Chip's house now has a baby and is thus much less favorable for hosting, and we're hurting. We'll table that idea for now.

What else do I like? Well, if you've seen a recent picture of me (or really any picture from the past fifteen years), you know I like to eat. No, not babies. Just, you know, food. I was passing through our family room last night and my mom was watching Top Chef. Cooking is pretty cool, and competitions are pretty cool, so what about some kind of cooking competition? Split up into teams or twosomes, have some cooking challenge, judge it, give the winner something. This kind of idea would take some commitments ahead of time, though, so I'd like to hear from you folks if you'd be up for this.

Any other ideas? You guys probably know what I'd like more than I do, so any input is welcome. If you have a thought on how to twist one of the other ideas, that'd be welcome, too.

Top 5 Dave Matthews Band Songs (for today; it always changes)

1. Bartender
2. Lie In Our Graves
3. Warehouse
   
4. Crush
5. Proudest Monkey

I'm thinking I might have to cave in, shell out whatever outrageous markup the scalpers are charging, and go see DMB this summer. Though it won't be the same (it can't be the same) without Leroi Moore, the music was too important to me for too long for me to have gone this long without going to a show (8 years?). If anybody's willing to come with me and brave the parking disaster that is Nissan Pavilion, let me know. And let's do this.

What Is Up?

When I think about why I'm making this blog post, I'm reminded of a memorable quote from my all-time favorite show, The West Wing:

SAM
I think this press conference is about our future.

BARTLET
I think this press conference is about we haven’t had a press conference in a while.

The truth is, there's really nothing too exciting going on, nothing I feel the need to comment on. I just know I haven't written in a while, so here we go.

My pants don't fit anymore. It's in a good way; that is, I've lost enough weight that my pants are too loose, but the actual problem is the same. My pants don't fit anymore. I can get by with them for a little while longer, but the reality is that I'm going to look a little bit silly until I get some new ones.

What does this mean for my recently begun job search? I'm not sure. You're supposed to wear a suit to interviews, and I haven't tried on my suit in a few months. That's second on my to-do list for when I leave work today. Number one on that list is to buy some chewy chocolate chip cookies for my sister. I unknowingly ate the last of her stash (it was in the kitchen, how could I know?), and because I feel her pain on people devouring any food you leave in the kitchen, I'm gonna grab her a box or bag or whatever. Shhh, don't tell her. Everybody likes surprises.

Top 5 Games I've Been Playing Recently

1. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360) - I played Morrowind (the prequel to this game), and was almost immediately frustrated with its lack of direction. Oblivion has only slightly more direction, but it was enough for me, and now I'm hooked. Perhaps the best evidence of its quality is that I'm playing it with almost no interest in stacking achievements. I'm playing the game just to play the game. It's wild.
2. Army of Two (Xbox 360) - I've been playing online with Patrick, both of us looking to pick up some achievements, and it's been a blast. We're both willing to acknowledge when we mess up, and we both mess up a fair amount. But when the cooperation pays off, it's very gratifying.
3. Diablo II (PC) - Kicking it old school, I've always liked the game, and I've talked Chip into giving it a shot. I'm finding out, though, that my desk at home isn't set up very well, ergonomically speaking. Gotta work that out before it hurts my shoulder even more. Anyways, looking forward to giving the game another go-around. Treasure-hunting is my kind of fun.
4. Left 4 Dead (Xbox 360) - I don't play it as much as some people (Patrick and Nick), but it's fun enough. My only qualm, and one that will likely be resolved in the upcoming sequel, is that I suck, and I keep getting matched up against people who are pretty good, so it's embarrassing when I play online. Hopefully Left 4 Dead 2 will have an actual matchmaking system, rather than just throwing people together.
5. Destiny of an Emperor (NES) - Remember when I said I was kicking it old school by playing Diablo II? This is a little bit older school. It's an RPG based in ancient China, and while I prefer the more conventional Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior, it's still a fairly fun game. Plus I'm far enough into it now that I want to take it all the way.

EDIT: In the original version of this post, I had an incorrect statement about Epic. This post has been updated to remove that inaccuracy.